Blueberry Cupcake

 

I love a blueberry cake and have not been able to make it just like shop bought ones. I guess we try not to use that much butter and sugar which is probably the reason. Then we found an easy to make blueberry muffin recipe and thought to give this cake a try. Also, from previous baking of cakes we found it cuts the cooking time down if instead of a cake tin, we bake in the muffin tray. It also helps in equal sharing of the cake as generally it is either 6 or 12 cupcakes made. 

While mixing the cake dough we realised that the recipe actually was not accurate as the liquid was not adequate and so we adapted to get the right consistency and the result was excellent cake.

Ingredients

 2½ cups (375g) of sifted self-raising flour

1 teaspoon baking powder

1 cup (220g) raw sugar

½ cup (125ml) olive oil

1 egg

½ cup (125ml) milk

½ cup (125 ml) of butter milk 

1 teaspoon vanilla extract

300g fresh or frozen blueberries

1 table spoon of self-raising flour

Method

Preheat oven to 180°C (350°F).

Place the flour, baking powder and sugar in a bowl.

Place the oil, egg, milk, butter milk and vanilla in a separate bowl and whisk to combine.

Pour the liquid ingredients into the dry ingredients and mix until just combined. 

Add the table spoon of flour to the blueberries and stir to cover each berry with the flour. 

Add the blueberries to the dough and mix to combine.

Oil the cups of the 2 silicon muffin trays.

Spoon mixture equally into the 12 cups.

Bake the cupcakes for 15 mins. Check at 10 mins to make sure the cupcakes are cooking evenly. If need be, rotate the tray to ensure even cooking.

Leave the tray to cool on the rack. 

Once the tray is cooled enough to handle remove the cupcakes and cool on a wire rack. 

Tips

If you do not have buttermilk handy, you can take a heaped tablespoon of plain yogurt and add some milk or water to make it to 125 ml of buttermilk.

Depending on the quality of the flour you might need a little more milk to get the right consistency.

Coating the berries with flour stops the fruit from breaking open and bleeding the colour into the cake.

While the silicon trays do not need oiling it helps to do so, as the cupcakes pop out cleanly by pushing the base. The cupcake has a raised top so pushing the cake up by the base ensures that it maintains its shape.

Samosa with Puff Pastry

 

Samosas are one of my favourite snacks or indeed even a meal if channa / chole, plain yogurt, plus sweet and green chutneys are added to a couple of nice hot samosas. The use of spices makes the taste different and from particular parts of the country. The pastry is made from whole wheat flour and filling I believe was originally vegetarian with potatoes, peas, onion and spices and then the triangular shaped samosa was deep fried. Now its good to have fried snack once in a while and I buy ready made from the shop a couple of times in the year. With the advent of frozen food, I found that samosas were made and frozen. These could be defrosted and deep fried. Then came partly fried and frozen samosas which could be baked in the oven. I have tried these baked versions and found them to be fairly good. The filling can now contain of whatever you wish to put in it. So, recipes for non-vegetarian ones are also plenty. 

Having made some Eccles cake with the puff pastry, I had a couple of sheets left and also had some cooked potatoes in the fridge. I decided to try making the samosas with this and it turned out well. So here is the recipe for the vegetarian samosa I make with puff pastry.

Ingredients

2 sheets of puff pastry 

4 medium sized potatoes

¾ cup of frozen peas

½ teaspoon turmeric powder

½ teaspoon red chilli powder

½ teaspoon of dried mango powder (amchur)

1 table spoon of crushed kasturi methi (dried fenugreek leaves)

¼ teaspoon of ajwain (carom seeds)

Salt to taste 

Some milk to brush the samosa

Method

Prepare stuffing first –

Boil potatoes, cool and remove the skins of the potatoes.

Crush potatoes and place in a bowl (roughly crush so there is texture to it)

Defrost and blanche the peas.

Crush the peas and add to the bowl of potatoes.

Add the spices and mix well.

Assemble the samosa –

Defrost pastry sheets and cut each into 4 squares.

Brush the edge of a square with milk to dampen it.

Put 1 tablespoon of the filling in the middle of the square.

Bring together the edges of the square to form a square samosa.

Press the edges together and pinch it to make a seal.

Place the assembled samosas, smooth side up, on a baking tray.

Brush the top with milk and sprinkle some sesame seeds on top.

Preheat oven to 375F or 190C.

Place the tray of pastry in the oven and cook for 10 to 15 mins. Please check at 10 mins to turn the tray around if the pastry is cooking faster on one side than the other. It should be evenly golden when cooked.

Remove from oven and leave on a rack to cool.

Serve with green chutney or sweet tamarind chutney or ketchup.

Suggestions 

For the heat, instead of red chilli powder, you can use garam masala, or finely chopped green chillies.

You can add fresh shredded ginger or ginger paste, about 1 teaspoon.

Sautéed chopped onions or raw finely chopped onions 1 heaped tablespoon can be added.

For the sour flavour you can add lemon or lime juice, or anar dana (pomegranate seeds) instead of the amchur. You can be adventurous and add lemon myrtle if you wish.

Ajwain and kasturi methi are optional.

You can temper the potatoes and peas with cumin seeds and oil if you wish.

If you want you can add other vegetables like shredded or finely chopped carrot, peppers to make mixed veg samosa. These can be stir fired in the tempering or par boiled separately. Remember the amount of total stuffing should be a heaped tablespoon per samosa.

The shape can be triangular instead of a square. Do not overfill the samosa or the pastry can split open.

Eccles Cake – square ones

I love Eccles cakes and have not had any in years as of course I have not seen them sold anywhere here. Then I saw a food programme with Ainsley Harriet who made it in the oven using ready made puff pastry. I quickly ran through the ingredients and realised that we had everything in the cupboard. So next weekend I tried the recipe and it turned out just delicious.

Ingredients

Two sheets of puff pastry

8 tablespoons of raisins, currents and mixed peel (1 spoonful for each Eccles cake)

25gm butter 

50 grams brown sugar 

1 ½ teaspoon of mixed spices: cinnamon: cloves and nutmeg or allspice

1 egg beaten

Method

Defrost puff pastry sheets but do not let them dry out.

In a bowl mix the raisins, currents and mixed peel with butter, spices and sugar. Keep 1 table spoon of sugar aside for later.

Cut each sheet of puff pastry into 4 squares. 

Lightly egg wash the edges of each square.

Put a tablespoon of the mixed fruit and spices filling in the middle of the square. Then bring adjacent edges together and press them to seal the filled pocket. This gives the Eccles cake a square shape. 

Place each square, with the smooth side up, on the baking tray. Apply the egg wash on the surface and sprinkle some of the brown sugar on it.

Preheat oven to 375F or 190C.

Place the tray of pastry in the oven and cook for 10 to 15 mins. Please check at 10 mins to turn the tray around if the pastry is cooking faster on one side than the other. It should be evenly golden when cooked.

Remove from oven and leave on a rack to cool.

Tips

You do not have to be strict about the shape. I have even made it in triangles.

Try not to over fill as then the pastry can split.

If you do not want to use an egg wash, you can use milk instead. I have used both and they work equally well.

My version of Ash Reshteh – Persian Bean and Noodle Soup

My husband is a foodie – in that he scours the net for recipes from all over the world. Being a vegetarian he loves looking for vegetarian dishes from different countries. Also he loves sweets and thus has a huge collection of cakes and puddings and every type of dessert. There are times when he will pick out something to try and if we do not have all the ingredients we either have to wait and get it next shopping round or improvise. Now many a time waiting to get all ingredients is not good as we forget and the recipe remains untasted.

We have moved homes just a couple of weeks ago and the effort to pack and unpack and try to get some order into the new home is tiring. In fact, I am still moving things about so that things are where I can find them / reach them. For a whole week I could not find the energy to cook at the end of the day as fatigue is hard to fight. But eventually I got the kitchen up and running. This description is shows you how we came about sitting and vegging on the net last Sunday as we were too tired to do anything. He came upon Persian recipes in some of his favourite food blogs. This one popped out and while we did not have all the ingredients putting it off did not sit well today. Quick look through the cupboard and fridge showed that we had most of the ingredients and some we could improvise. So apologies to the Persians for taking some liberties with their recipe but hey ultimately it is the taste that matters and variations are always part of and art of cooking.

Ingredients:

• 1 can of red beans – drained and washed
• 1 can of chick pears – drained and washed
• 1 can of black beans – drained and washed (it was supposed to be 1 can of lentils but I guess we can play with which ever bean tins we have)
• 1 – 2 cups of chopped spinach (I added all I had in the freezer – tend to chop and freeze so I do not waste it if not used up right away)
• 1 packet of Singapore noodles (fresh vacuum packed ones – am sure you can use any other types of noodles but I think the fine ones will disintegrate. One of the recipe states you can use spaghetti as well. This will be cooked in the soup and of course the time for that has to be factored in)
• 1 cup fresh chopped coriander
• 1 medium onion finely chopped
• 2 medium green chillies finely chopped (the ones I have are fairly hot so I would say chillies according to your taste otherwise the recipe states ground black pepper)
• 2 cloves of garlic finely chopped
• ¾ teaspoon of turmeric powder
• 1 teaspoon cumin seeds
• Salt to taste
• 1 table spoon of olive oil
• 2 – 3 tablespoons of plain yogurt (beat it smooth)

Method:

Since all the beans are cooked and from the can it takes the cooking time down quite a lot as the recipes talk about dry beans and lentils which will have to be cooked for an hour to hour and half.

In a large pan mix all the beans, adding water to cover the beans by an inch and some salt to get the beans boiling and hot. Even though these are cooked beans it is good to boil and then simmer them for about 20 mins or more to soften them further.

Meanwhile in a small saucepan pan add the olive oil and cumin seeds. Get it hot so the cumin just starts turning brown and add the onions, chillies and garlic. Sauté them till the onion goes translucent. Then add the turmeric powder and cook for a 2 – 3 mins. Once cooked add this to the pan with beans.

Add the spinach as well, bring to boil and cook for a further few minutes.

Add the noodles which just need heating for a few minutes. 

Add the coriander last. The other herbs you can add are parsley and mint.

Serve it in bowls and top it with a couple of dollops of plain yogurt. (you can also use sour cream if you want).

Then enjoy this heartwarming 1 bowl meal on a cold winter evening.

Sourdough bread – A Cheat Method to get the Taste

I love sourdough bread, does not matter if its white flour or rye or whole meal, I just love that sour taste. Every so often I look up the various recipes and think shall I make some. The time and effort it takes to make ‘mother’ the starter for it puts me off. I am not sure I have that dedication to make the starter over a period of I think couple of weeks (that was the shortest time I saw for this).

So I would yet another recipe and another and eventually I gave up the thought of homemade sourdough. I have learnt to make naan and one uses some yogurt in making the dough. This made me think, why can I not use that to make bread and see what it tastes like? I tend to use sour yogurt and so it should give sourness to the bread. And yes I was right and I have my cheat version of sourdough.

Ingredients

·       300 gm of wheat flour (roti atta will do or plain flour)
1 heaped teaspoon of yeast (I got live ones that I keep in fridge)
1 tablespoon of olive oil
1 to 1 and half table spoon of yogurt (sour if possible)
1 teaspoon salt
1 teaspoon of sugar
Water should be warm – I generally make it just hot enough to be able to knead as that will get the yeast going.

Method

Put the dry ingredients together in a bowl.

Add the yogurt and then water to knead.

Just add water as you require (I do it by feel like how you do roti atta).

Knead it for a good 5 mins.

Once it is smooth and come together take a little oil in your hand and knead it so it covers the whole outer surface of the dough ball and at the same time it will line the bowl so when it rises it will not stick to the sides.

Cover it with a lid or Clingfilm so that it does not start drying out- I found that just using a tea cloth to cover tended to dry out the surface.

Leave it for a couple of hours and it will rise to double in size. The punch the air out and re-knead for a few mins.

Shape it up for the second rising. Now at this point you can put it in the baking tin and let it rise there. Just dust the tin with some flour so it does not stick.

Bake on high heat 250 C for about 30 mins. I would check after about 25 mins. But you should know your oven and the time it takes to bake your bread. Once done turn it out on a rack to cool as otherwise it will not cut properly.

You can have variations by adding garlic in when kneading the second time. I sometimes add poppy seeds. My point is once the bread is right you can add things you like.

Have it warm with butter or with olive oil and balsamic mix for dipping.

Chickpea and Dukkah Salad

I came across dukkah during one of the cookery shows with recipes from northern Africa. It seemed to be a combination of spices that is used as a dip with bread or fresh vegetables in a starter. I had to look up this spice mix to see what it contained - http://www.sbs.com.au/food/recipes/dukkah. The word ‘dukkah’ is derived from the Arabic for "to pound". The mixture of spices and nuts are pounded together after being dry roasted to a texture that is neither powdered nor paste-like. The composition of the spice mix can vary from family to family, vendor to vendor with sesame, coriander, cumin, salt and pepper as common ingredients. You can buy readymade dukkah too if you wish to take a short cut.

I saw this recipe which was very basic and essentially to be eaten with drinks like you would peanuts. The ingredients were I tin of chickpeas, a table spoon of olive oil and 2 table spoons of dukkah. Mix all the ingredients and place on a tray in a hot oven about 220C for 10 mins. It appeared to be a nice quick recipe but I wanted it for a salad so needed to think about how I can adapt this simple recipe and make it mine. Maybe a warm salad with onion and garlic; and cucumber and tomatoes could be also added. Here is what I came up with and had it in combination with roasted potatoes (small chunks) and grilled haloumi.

Ingredients

1 tin of chickpeas

1 medium onion

2 cloves garlic

1 tablespoon olive oil

2 tablespoons dukkah

Salt to taste (if using it in combination with salty cheese like feta or haloumi is it not necessary to add salt)

1 heaped teaspoon of chilli flakes

3 inch piece of cucumber

1 medium tomato or a handful of cherry tomatoes

1 teaspoon chopped parsley and coriander (optional)

Lemon juice – to taste

Method

Drain and wash the tin of chickpeas.

Finely dice the tomatoes and cucumber. Add a pinch of salt and set aside.

Thinly slice the onion and garlic.

Heat the olive oil in the pan and add the onions and garlic to it.

Cook onion on medium heat till it is translucent and just beginning to change colour.

Add the chickpeas to the onions.

As the chickpeas begin to warm add the dukkah and chilli flakes to the mix.

When the onion, chickpeas and spices are hot and well mixed take off the heat.

Place in a serving bowl, add lemon juice and stir. Sprinkle parsley and coriander.

When serving on a plate sprinkle the chopped tomatoes and cucumber to add that fresh clean flavour to the salad.

Well I must say that it is best to have it warm and reheat only in the same pan. I went for what was in the original recipe and spread it on a tray (since I was already doing the potatoes) to warm up in the oven and found the chickpeas dried a little. I will of course not be doing that again. If I was not using the grilled haloumi as part of the dish, I might try a sprinkle of feta. Another variation could be adding some capers to it.  I really liked this simple salad and will definitely be trying out various versions.

Sushi Story

I discovered sushi last year! And before you fall about laughing at this statement I need to explain that I am allergic to soy and its products and for a long time have not eaten any food that contain soy. I used to love Chinese food and had to cut it out of my diet. Now I am not sure if you are aware as to how many products in the oriental recipes have soy as soy sauce, miso, tofu, edamame beans, Tamari, Tempeh as well as being used as meat substitute and emulsifier. In fact, now days it is hard to pick up a product in any supermarket without any form of soy in it. It is used to enhance protein content cheaply and also as milk supplement, cheap oil and emulsifier.

But I digress and so back to finding sushi. I had not come across it as such when I lived in UK and never had an opportunity to try it. Also I was concerned about soy that could be in it. While in Australia there are so many sushi bars and I managed to look at the menus and think, ‘oh yes there is some veggie ones here that I could have’. A year on here and my husband started work in a place where there are some food places for lunch in the building. Yes, you guessed it he started having sushi for lunch and telling me how nice it was. I wanted to try some but was hesitant and wanted to be able to talk to someone who was making it before I ate it.

Then, one day at my supermarket there sprouted a sushi kiosk! Right there in the middle between the fruit and veg and the bread areas. There are couple of staff making fresh sushi and the counters display all the beautifully made sushi. Of course there were vegetarian sushi as well as all kinds of fish and meat ones. In the first week or so they had a try-me table with tuna, salmon, chicken and veggies sushi. Staff promoting the sale was helpful and explained the ingredients and whether any soy was in the recipe. They assured me that there was no soy sauce used in the making and was generally provided separately. So I was able to try the veggies one and was hooked.

The sushi can have separately or in combination carrots, cucumber, avocado, tomato, peppers, lettuce (another thing I have to avoid), asparagus ……things I have got so far. It can come as wrapped in nori and rice or with rice outside, white, brown or red rice or even soft rice paper, indeed now I also get quinoa instead of rice. There white or black sesame seeds sprinkled over it. The strangest is small bit of fried onions sprinkled on it. Well why I consider it strange I have no idea but I guess have not heard that one before. Must say it does have a nice crunch to it. So I bought the first round of veggie sushi with pink pickled ginger and wasabi sauce. Best meal ever …………. the sharpness of ginger with the heat of wasabi was all perfectly balanced.

And rest as they say is history. I was telling my niece about it and she was not very enthusiastic. Then one day at the airport on her way to visit me she tried some in the restaurant there. While she is not a fan of fish she was taken with the veggie, chicken and beef ones, and so started her love of sushi too.

During her time here, we went to one of these sushi bars where the small train goes round the table and one picks the plate of what they want. Since there was no rush (we started one by going in there) the chef was able to explain what the dishes were and assured there would be no soy in the veggie dishes. In addition to the sushi there usually is a seaweed salad and boiled edamame beans which my niece and husband had. The seaweed is generally shredded and sprinkled in sesame seeds. So nice to pick a dish….. have a few morsels… then pick the next one… something of the tapas effect I should think. Finally it was topped off with black sesame ice cream. Oh My! Again something that was so delicate not very sweet and yet delicious.

The only other variation I have had is a sweet one and you could say it would do nicely as dessert for it had fruits in it. The flavours were clean and that pickled ginger just gave it a nice touch. 

What can I say about wasabi? It is one of my favourite heat producing root right there with chillies but a little different. When I first got the taste of wasabi it was from wasabi peas that I bought as a snack when I came to Australia on holiday. You can also get wasabi roasted beans and macadamia nuts. So when I saw a sauce bottle of wasabi in the super market I thought, ‘oh yes that will do me fine!’ Oh boy was it terrible - very much a mayonnaise like sauce with barely any heat of wasabi. Needless to say that whole bottle was trashed. Then I found the authentic sushi wasabi which is good and now a permanent resident in my fridge. I found that some sushi places have even hotter wasabi sauces. The heat just explodes at the top of the mouth and flashes through the nose and into the sinuses. Even though it is strong enough to clear your sinuses and bring water to your eyes it is momentary and does not stop you from taking that next bite.

So that is the story of my love with sushi. Many people do not like the idea of cold rice but eating it on a hot summer afternoon or evening it is just right. It is filling but not heavy. There are a variety of fillings for all to choose from. My niece has already invested in paraphernalia for making sushi and is urging me to do the same. I am seriously considering this and will share with you the outcomes and recipes – if and when. If you have never tried sushi for whatever reasons, do not hesitate at the next time you come across this dish. Take the chance and tuck in and let me know if you enjoyed the experience. 

Ships that pass - Jaya and I

Jaya and I

It had been nearly a year since I wrote anything. Strange that I just could not think about what to write or make an effort to just put down even random thoughts. I cannot say I have been busy even though I had family over for Christmas and later around Easter. It was such a pleasure to see all of them after such a long time. The outings should have been blogged along with the photo diary but at first I was busy enjoying the people and then recovering from the fun time. The moment to record just passed by……..

But I digress as I thought I would break the writing fast by talking about a friend. Just over 2 years ago I got a friend request on my Facebook. The accompanying message said I like your sense of humour and I know you from the ‘X’ group. I thought, ’why not?’ and added her in. We got chatting and asking about where on earth were we, to find this is a small world indeed. She actually lived about 5 minutes away, 2 lanes down from my house!

So we exchanged addresses and phone numbers and left it at, she would drop in to see me when she came this way for a walk. That was the start of a short but sweet friendship. Right from the start we hit it off and chatted away as if we had been friends forever and finding out about each other’s lives. We were good for each other. She took me to the Parramatta Park for the first time for a walk. I was not sure I would be able to do the whole round and so she said if I could not it was ok. She would go and fetch the car while I waited if I could not complete the round. However, since we did not do it on the trot it was ok. I talked since I am a chatterbox while she said very little. I know she kept telling me she is more of a listener and does not talk much.

I said to my husband we should go to this park, its wonderful for a walk. So next week we went and that’s when I realised I was so busy bonding with my new friend during the walk that I had missed the park totally……….. walking around with my husband I saw the varied flora and the birds. Not sure how I did not see a whole bat colony as along the river in one section there is a sanctuary for them. I had missed seeing the whole river flowing by! Not to forget the sulphur crested cockatoos and the parakeets and lorikeets and so many more. There are plaques telling the visitors about the history of this, the second settlement in Australia, after Sydney. Of course I had missed those as well.

So next time she took me out to the park again, I introduced her to the park that was there and not just a track to be walked while chatting or listening to music. I think I made her stop and smell the roses, to look at nature and find joy and peace in it. From then on every time we went we noted the changes to the park in each season. There are flowers in the park all year round, always different birds and even dragon lizards. She was always saying to me, ‘you seem to know each tree and the flowers and the birds and the time of year to see them’. There is a bench right by the river where we sit each time at a half way mark, to rest a bit but also to just soak in the peace and quiet, watch the aeroplanes high in the sky, fluffs of cotton wool clouds floating by or even the late afternoon summer clouds bubbling up to rise high and maybe to rain later, birds twittering, an odd laugh by the kookaburra, the clear reflection of the trees in the gently flowing waters of the river, ducks, coots and moorhens as well as wading birds fearlessly pecking near out feet for crumbs. This quiet time to de-stress and reflect the peace into your self was something she said she learnt from me. So I gained a place to physical exercise and she gained a changed perception of her surroundings.

We talked of all subjects whether while walking or visiting or on the net. She was seeking to understand and assimilate all that was had happened to her in the recent times. She was seeking peace and spirituality. While I do not profess to be knowledgeable, we certainly had discussion where we reflected on our thoughts and perceptions and bounced ideas off each other. I hope that I made some contribution to her journey of self-discovery.

She loved good food too just like I do and we often talked of recipes that we were accomplished in. I really like the South Indian dishes she made as I was not very good with those. Indeed, I still think it is a hassle to make dosa for just 2 people and idli, frankly, is much easier to buy and eat. She liked Gujarati food she said. I do not generally cook typical Gujarati food but there are one or two things that I am good at like dal dhokli and thepla particularly methi thepla. When I told her I was hankering for dal dhokli and that I would expect her of dinner on Saturday since I was making it, she was quick to accept the invitation. Indeed, I made methi thepla twice and both times she was dining with us. Once I made the Punjabi chole for her too.

She cooked different dishes like dosas and various rice dishes, sambhar and also rasam. Oh yea, I will not forget that she passed on a reciepe of making kulfi. We were talking about ice cream and one of the best was kulfi. I was telling her that every time I found it in the stores and got used to buying it regularly the store stopped stocking it. This, I found most annoying. So she said she had a recipe and sent it to me. I have not looked back since and many family and friends have had the pleasure of making and eating that kulfi. So now there are automatically these dishes that remind me of her.

We used to meet or chat regularly. She was helpful when I had to make calls to UK and she had free calls. We used to go to the park and always take her when she was free or even to the new local restaurant. She had set her heart on going to pilgrimage to Kailash and all the walking was towards getting fit for that trek. She used to go with her friends on these long treks around Sydney and then tell me about the nature she saw and sometimes remembered to take a photo on her phone. She said she now notices her surroundings and nature more.

Then, at the start of this year she got ill. It started with vision problem where she was seeing things in stereo instead of single image. After various investigations they diagnosed it as maybe TB in the brain. She hated the medication and it was a lot and big pills were hard to swallow. Things went downhill still and so she was taken into hospital for more investigations. She sent me a message that she was in hospital and that they were keeping her in. In a couple of days she got news that there were tumours and it was cancer. She was shocked to say the least and trying to take in all the information about the treatment and prognosis. To say the next few months were hard would be an understatement. To avoid unnecessary exposure to bugs I stayed away from the hospital but we daily conversed via emails as per usual, making sense of the health issues, having chemotherapy and its side effects, venting feelings, trying to find ways of coping and passing on jokes. She was sent home for a few days between treatments and I managed to see her every day. Did some fruit and veg shopping for her. Even took her out for that last time to the park to sit in the sun on our bench by the river.

Then she was back in the hospital and going for the last couple of rounds of chemo. There were investigations again to see what the prognosis was and the news was good. Everyone was happy that now with just radiation rounds to get done and life could restart. As no matter what you say and how well you are coping…. Life remains on hold while you have the treatment. She started planning for when she would come out of hospital and take it easy. In fact she was thinking of going to Mumbai at the end of the year and sorting family home and resting and pampering herself.

We mainly wrote to each other as she was not able to talk with the blisters in her mouth and throat. Even if it was just once in the day when she was tired, I heard from her. Then, I heard nothing for a couple of days. When I messaged to check she said she was very tired and could not make the effort to type. A few days later again I heard nothing from her. I sent messages and mails, even left voice messages to ask what was happening. I checked with one of her friends (she had introduced me to a few of her friends) to see if she knew what was up. Then I got the news that the cancer was back and that only palliative care was prescribed. What a blow!

All one can do at this point is pray for a quick clean and painless end. It is hard to do that but also a selfless thing to do, something I would wish if I was in that position. I did not go to her funeral. I remember her the way she was, with a ready smile and happy to spend time with me, talking about everything and anything. She wanted me to make friends with her friends and strangely now that she has gone I have started what I hope will be long friendships with some of her friends. I always say people meet for a reason. She used to say that I was sent to her by God as she needed it. All I can say is I am grateful for the opportunity to be there for another person and what could be better than the bonus of having a loving friend. We were like the ships that pass but leave a mark on each other’s soul. May God rest her soul in peace and she lives on in our memory through the daily activities that we shared.