Time to Talk About Menopause

 

A few days ago, I was randomly turning channels on TV and came up on a programme talking about Menopause. Yes, I did use a capital for that word as we seem to hide this just as much as Periods and anything to do with female reproductive organs and physiology. The panel was made up of ladies only both young and older, health professionals and counsellors with a female host too. It was refreshing to see this openness and identify how we ladies too contribute to the hiding and shaming of our body parts and its normal functions. Fortunately, the subject of periods is getting frequent outings but that’s is the tip of the iceberg as other normal and abnormal physiology is yet to be even mentioned even thought hey can cause havoc in all aspects of a woman’s life such as polycystic ovarian syndrome and endometriosis. But today I am going to tell you about my journey through menopause.

When I got ill with pain and swelling of my hands which subsequently spread to all over the body, I had a battery of blood tests. At that time, it was discovered that I was perimenopausal – that changes in hormone levels have been detected and that my menopausal journey is on. This news was provided to me in the passing by my rheumatologist. Since I was in a lot of pain it did not register strongly on my radar. Nothing further was said by the rheumatologist nor my GP as indeed he had the results of the investigations too. What was the discussion you ask about how to handle the symptoms that come from this journey? The plan of action? Support and guidance to deal with this major change?  Ways to deal with changing libido and its impact on my relationship with my husband? Well? Hear that deafening silence? Well yes pretty much the same amount of help guidance and information I got at puberty. The passing reference by the rheumatologist was actually related to maybe some of these symptoms are part of the hormonal changes. Oh, and what you going to do about it? Nothing as this is normal physiology…. Oh wow!

I was having hot flushes and excessive sweating with nightmares and there was a shrug from the healers. I was having primrose oil capsules from years for reducing the impact of premenstrual syndrome and I found that the herbalists actually prescribe that as a help for menopausal symptoms.  While I have polycystic ovaries and have accepted that I do not produce ova, it still takes some adjusting to the fact that at 45 my body was failing yet again as this was an early menopause onset. Well at least I think it is early for as you might have guessed the women in my family were not talkative about such issues.

So, I kept my own counsel and muddled my way through till the actual event at the age of 51. Thus, 6 years of misery along with undifferentiated connective tissue disease.  Fortunately, I continued the primrose oil capsules all the way through till couple of years after menopause too. Ladies, we need to talk about this as well, for all have varying symptoms of varying intensity. There is so much that happens physically, mentally and socially and yet we sweep it under the carpet, speak in whispers or indeed with that silly nasal voice, where we can pretend, we are talking about something else or indeed giggle and pretend we have come through it unscathed with our confidence, dignity and relationships intact.  

Why do the health care staff, both doctors and nurses, do not talk to their female patients? The whole area of sexual health or women is totally ignored and mostly likely only ever gets any mention when a woman is pregnant and that too most likely by the midwife. Why do we woman allow this health care neglect? It is time to open more conversations about overall women’s health and not for just parts of us.  We do not have to go through the change alone. We should support each other in keeping our self-worth and confidence. We need to be able to verbalise our issues within safe friendly environment where there is understanding and not ridicule for the anxieties raised by changing bodies and their impact on relationships. If you are with me on this maybe you can leave comments.