Overheard

It is always funny when you over hear snippets of conversations between people who are strangers to you. Some make you smile as you catch their drift while others leave you wondering what that was all about where as some just make you double up. I overhead some such strange conversations and decided that maybe someone else will find them funny if not at least amusing.

I was waiting at the outpatients department and this one is particularly a large one. The doctors were running late and the people waiting were beyond that initial restlessness. Some were flicking through the heap of old magazines that is always found at the waiting rooms of various health establishments doing its contractual work of passing on germs. There were a couple of young women sitting in the row behind me and this is what they were talking about…..

Lady in jeans – you mean sling backs?

Lady with short hair - It's the ones without backs that have the elastic band or strip of shoe with a buckle at the back of the foot holding them on

This was not very interesting and so I tuned out from that conversation and tuned into the other two ladies in front of me. Both were young and I wondered what was wrong since I was at a rheumatology clinic. One was wearing baggy trousers and a tank top while the other was in a skirt and a red jumper.

Skirt (giggling): ‘I am using a disability placard as leverage to continue working.’

Trousers (with a tongue in cheek manner):  ‘Well you can... I am just happy being a lazy cow..’

Skirt explaining: ‘No before when I was teaching. It was at top of this stupid hill. And there was never parking. I told the doctor to sign this form or I'll quit my job. I can't walk up that hill and be awake to teach the class. So she signed a permanent one.’  She laughed as she finished speaking.

Trousers laughingly agreed: ‘Yes that’s good. I used that to get myself a permanent desk.. as part timers were supposed to hot desk and I said I canna carry my laptop home every day and back…’

Skirt: ‘There ya go!’

Trousers: hahahaha…. See we have so many positives to use.. and we should make up a guide for it.’

Skirt: ‘Oh yeah. I have to come up with more though. Those are the only ones I got right now.’

Sadly I shall never find out the end of that conversation and more tips to make disability work for you as I got called to see the doctor.

Then on the way back home in the bus … another good place to overhear interesting conversations… there was this boy and girl sitting behind me. I could hear them and assumed they were friends and on their way to some party.

Boy: ‘You wouldn't happen to know how to get wax out of a tshirt?’

Girl: ‘Put it on the fire..?’ and giggled

Girl: ‘What kinda wax?’

Boy: ‘It was a Yankee candle wax tart for Warmers’

Girl: ‘should come out if you put it in the freezer then.’

Boy: ‘The warmer had been on for 2 hours and I realized it still looked solid. So I pulled it down to touch it and my fingers weren't holding it as tight as I thought and the bottom melted but top didn’t so it burst through the top down the front of my brand new shirt.’ He did sound cross.

Boy: ‘I had it under hot water to melt it off, then a toothbrush to make sure the wax was off but apparently there was also some oil. I am gonna try to buy a new one tomorrow.’

Girl: ‘Awww put it in the freezer.. and it should be ok.. my gran’s advice.. but just in case it does not work.. I take myself off the blame list.’

Boy: ‘Nice. We always blame whoever isn't here to defend themselves.’

Girl: ‘Oh for oil you have to use something like vanish..’

Boy: ‘I did colour safe bleach soaked it, toothbrushes that then washed it again. I've washed it 3 times. Dried only 1 time when I didn't see anything. But there is still a stain.’

Girl: ‘Well then you will just have to admit to people you have been a mucky pup.. when u wear it.’

Boy: ‘I tried ice the very first thing I did. But the wax had gone thru the shirt and later I found wax on my skin. So the ice help the part that didn’t go all the way through.’

Girl: ‘oh well google it.. answers to everything is supposed to be there na?’

Boy: ‘Yeah. I was just wondering. Needless to say I yelled at the object and it just sat there looking dumb.’ With a chuckle

Girl: ‘Now would it not have been more shocking if it had answered you back.. you are the clumsy one and yelling at me?’

Boy laughed: ‘Oh I would've gone to the ER and asked for Valium if that'd happened.’

Girl: ‘Only valium? I would want to be on anti-hallucinogenic too!’

Boy: ‘Well they would decide once I told them "I hear voices from objects". I am sure Valium would be the tip of the iceberg!’

Girl: ‘Yep the men in white coats would come marching in pretty rapidly put you in a strait jacket and cart you away on a trolley... you know the one which is used to move boxes.’

Both laughed and I had to stop myself from joining them.

Girl: ‘Oh yea the jacket has to match the shoes or else...

Boy: “Well white goes with everything.’

Girl: ‘Aha I see you are using blocks of colour.. white with red I presume?’

Boy: ‘After all fashion has to be upheld not matter what gaga land you are in.’

Girl: ‘hahaha oh white with black and nude shoes or green or grey?’

Boy: ‘No no I like red.. bit of a statement. Like I might be nutty but I know my fashion.. kinda statement.’

Hahahahahha both laughed.

Girl: ‘Heck yes. I may be nutty but I can walk in heels! Also a statement.’

Boy: ‘Now we are assuming that you would be wearing something more than a d jacket.. cos after all you arenot gonna go to ER in just your shoes...’

Girl: ‘True. I would even go to the ER in heels in all honesty. But red shoes require silver or light grey pants’

Boy: ‘Nah light would get dirty in ER.. go with your black and white theme.. go for black pants and a skimpy sequined black top…. then the white jacket would be perfect and so would the red shoes…..so now we have a uniform to go to ER in..’

Girl: ‘Oh nice. That would be nice. I just bought a cream and gold tank top to go with a dark pair of jeans and the black and nude shoes. It's perfect!!!

Boy: ‘After all we visit it often.. and so no need to go as slovenly whingers..’

Sadly I had to leave this amusing couple to get off at my stop but it did leave me wondering as to whether the young man managed to get the wax off his t-shirt or not?

A fee days ago I went to have a look at the department store in the local shopping mall and was browsing through the clothes hoping to pick up some nice tops in the sales. There were nice ones that I liked and so went to try them on and yes you have guessed it the conversations in the fitting rooms are equally entertaining. I got so carried away that I nearly forgot to try my tops.

Girl 1: it seems there r sales all year round and there is no actual discount in any store anyways

Girl 2: Ok weird question. Would you consider wearing jeans to church if you were leading the singing portion?

Girl 1: Of course why not? you are fully covered.. not as if you gonna go in revealing stuff. Just get a decent top and not t shirt to go with it.. should be fine

Girl 2: I was gonna wear the new tank top with a sweat over it, the jeans, and the black on nude shoes. They keep saying I dress up too much

Girl 1: That should do.. trial run at the church is a good idea.. hehehe

Girl 2 Lol. It just feels weird and just wrong. Always a good trial run….. Church is much more judgmental than anywhere else.

Girl 1: Well jeans r like any other trousers now a days...

Girl 2: I know. I kinda hate that though….

Girl 1: Why?

Girl 2: I never wear jeans often ever. I wore a pair of jeans in 2008…. that was the last time. I like my business pants, skirts, khakis, jeans. Not my fav and it seems wrong for church

Girl 1: Heheheheh I like jeans there was a time I lived in them.. but when I put on a lot of weight I did not buy any.. too embarrassing.. in fact getting clothes was bad. I have some Indian gear which I used to bring out in summer while in winter I used to buy those cotton or denim legging kind.. T shirts and large jumpers or fleece..

Girl 2: See I've got the chunky going on but I am also oddly shaped. No hips or butt, skinny legs, but a gut! So I tried on a pair and I could've used the hips to fly somewhere

Both burst out laughing.

Girl 1: I know what you mean I find that the other way round get something big enough for the hips and butt and you can fit another person at the waist

Girl 2: I tried on the skinny jeans and I had two extra folds in the butt and legs even though I have a fat tummy…

Again they giggled and I was like sitting on the small bench in there and trying not to laugh loudly.

Girl 1: heheheh so you must then look like a lollipop..

Girl 2: Yeah. I have a fat tummy and below the hips looks like it belongs to a different person! I kind do look like a lollipop!!

Girl 1: so there is someone out there with a small upper body and fat lower one.. ahahahahah

Girl 2: Oh yes. There is.

Girl 1: I donna discriminate in my body parts... fat is distributed equally

Girl 2: And I'd like the top half back!!! hahahahaa

Girl 1: Well u gotta to go hunting? Give an ad in the papers?

Girl 2: Lol something

Girl 1: How about a vid on youtube.. cos strange things go viral on it …..   instant celeb.. then one would have to stand in a queue to speak to ya

Girl 2:  I don't know if that's what I want to be a celeb for. A skinny bottom half!!

Girl 1: Well that’s the fastest way.. am sure there is someone out there who wants just like you to be reunited with half their fat self

Girl 2: Lol. True

Girl 1: ……might be hankering.. sitting in a burger joint and stuffing themselves in order to get the balance right

Girl 2: as I starve myself for balance

Girl 1: that’s it…. you can appeal to the sense of balance in people. You sing well so maybe a catchy tune and a jog like the Gangham style

Girl 2: With my luck the skinny top half would belong to a man!!!! LOL……No hips butt or boobs

Girl 1: hehe nothing to be sneezed at….. you can get a boob job..

Girl 2 starts laughing.

Girl 1: a 36 c... big but not too big.. give a nice cleavage….. go well in the new tank top... see there you are built you a nice body.. and got you kitted out for church..

Girl 2: Lol!!! Oh dang. I'm all set up now!

At this point I burst out laughing and there was sudden silence in the fitting rooms. I quickly picked my things and crept out before the girls came out and saw who was eavesdropping.

Life is fleeting

Intellectually I have always understood that life is fleeting. After all time is relative is it not? So are the years spent by humans felt to be longer than the days or months of the life of insects as felt by that insect? Maybe since time span that is the life of a bug is its life time and so felt to be long. In comparison maybe we humans think we live longer lives and so can disregard the fact that life is fleeting.

What started this train of thought? Well this morning, since it is a glorious, hot, sunny day, I decided to do my laundry. My laundry room is outside the house, on the side of the back veranda. Understandably I have to keep the room locked and so first thing I have to remember, is to unlock the door. While I was doing that I noticed something dark on the side of the white wall. As I pulled the latch that blob moved and there was a nice big spider. I am not scared of the spiders but I am aware that there are many poisonous ones here. Though it was not as big or as pretty as the last spider that made a huge web outside the kitchen window, it was still fairly big and black.

As I looked, it uncurled its legs and shifted to try and hide in the small groove formed where the wooden plank overlaps the next one. I smiled at it reminded me of an ostrich burying its head in the sand. The added laundry room is pretty flimsy as the walls are just wood planks and when the washing machine goes into the spin cycle the walls vibrate in sympathy. When I returned to hang the washing I found that the spider was on the move. It probably did not like this strange vibration that shook its floor! It moved off the wall and into the large empty plant pot that I have stored at the side with other small pots. I stopped and looked at it, wondering should I put it out at the bottom of the garden? Or into the bushes at the side? If I left it there was it likely to try and get into the house as I do know we have some small ones with mighty long legs running about occasionally. Then I thought why annoy the spider. Just leave it there and keep an eye that the back screen door does not remain open or even ajar? Yes I would leave it alone, thinking I was being good and doing it a good turn.

Little did I know….. some time later I was looking out of the kitchen while getting my breakfast. I saw that different birds were coming up to eat some pieces of bread I had chucked out for them. Then I noticed that one blackbird was coming towards the veranda and I went to see if it needed shooing off from my plants. I stopped at the window as I could not see the bird and wondered where it went. Just then it flies out with something in its beak. As I watched it sat on the grass and dropped what it had in its beak…. Aahhh the spider……… The bird must have good eyesight to locate this spider on the side of a pot on the veranda. I watched while it slowly picked the spider apart and ate it. A large breakfast for the blackbird this morning. In hind sight for the spider’s sake I should have taken it out into the back of the garden into the bushes.

This breakfast of the bird suddenly brought the phrase ‘life is fleeting’ to my mind. I am sure the spider when it came meandering into my veranda had not thought its life was going to end. It was, may be, looking for the next place to make its web and think of catching some food. It might have had some babies waiting for it to bring some food. The day would have started for it as any old sunny hot day which brings out all creatures early in the morning or evening as the day is blazing hot specially in this heatwave. Suddenly, in just a flash the bird hopped in and grabbed it. Wham the life ended. Did its life flash before its eyes? Were there regrets and wishes unfulfilled? Or is that only supposed to be for human being? Does it worry about what will happen to its family? Does it worry about the possessions like us? There are a million things that are likely to come to mind of a human, was it the same for that spider? What is a good turn for one may not be such a good turn for another.

Life is fleeting savour every moment and live as if it’s your last. Whatever does that mean? I think if I lived as if each moment was my last I probably would be unbearable. In fact it would not make for a comfortable living should even one person adopt this attitude and become selfish. However, one needs to remember that life is short and so not to spend it in strife, stress, anger, pain, jealousy and sadness. Live life with positive emotions and stop and smell the roses, dream the dreams, feed your soul, share life with loved ones and laugh. For you never know where the abrupt end will come just like the spider.

Cake

I love my cake

There is for every occasion a cake

The lovely soft sponge of heavenly cake

The varied tastes of varied cake

The dark glossy chocolate cake

The pale vanilla Victoria sponge cake

With lovely icing flowers on the cake

Without any fancy decorations on the cake

Some with fresh fruit in the cake

Others with dried berries and raisins in the cake

With or without booze, it makes me high this cake

Nuts galore in my cake

I find it hard to name a favourite cake

As my favourite is a CAKE

The Ark of Fire by C M Palov

This is a new author for me and I am trying to find out more about her. This I believe is her debut novel. I just picked it up randomly and decided to have a read. I am not sure what I was expecting as by now everyone who reads my reviews would know I tend to go for the thrillers and mysteries. I have read some novels with the central character was an ex Knights Templar so thought this one might be interesting.

The story starts with a photographer who was cataloguing the museum artefacts witnesses the murder of the museum curator and the artefact she was shooting is taken. When the killer looks at the log of entry to the museum he finds that this photographer is in the building. She had been in the process of helping the curator to email the photo to his friend and was under the desk checking on the connections of the computer when the murder took place. The killer believes the email has been sent and contacts his boss to let him know. This starts the photographer running as the man comes after her as she is a loose end. She manages to contact the curator’s friend to warn him that he is in danger.

At first he is reluctant to believe her but is intrigued when she shows him the picture of the artefact and he identifies it as the Stones of Fire, a gold and precious stones breastplate that was worn by the priest when opening the Ark of Covenant. While they are discussing the murder and Eloise was describing the ring worn by the killer they are shot at. Now both have to run and try to find out what this is all about. This leads them to a secret group of people who are all working for a security company and apparently are Christian fanatics. They are after the Ark of the Covenant which can only be opened with the safety with the Stones of Fire to channel the energy. The leader is planning to open it and use the powers to win a victory for the Christian world. There is a lot of quoting from the Bible and the mythology of the Ark and Stones of Fire. The chase is on as once Eloise and her new friend Caedmon realise that they would have to find the Ark first if they are to avoid the misuse of it. However there is no plan beyond finding the Ark. They fly to UK and meet up with one of the professors at Oxford to get information about the last person who was known to have the Ark.

They follow the clues left in a poem and realise that they misunderstood the clues so even though they rush to a village in Kent they find it is the wrong site. The bad guys are also there and when they realise that their historian was not successful in finding the Ark they kidnap Eloise and get Caedmon to help find the Ark. Will they find the Ark? What havoc do the fanatic guys plan to unleash as after all it is fabled that opening the Ark causes disasters? The setting moves from UK to Malta and from there the Ark is to be taken to Jerusalem. While the thrill of the chase and tension of being safe keeps the story moving fairly fast, romance blooms between Eloise and Caedmon and so provides a lighter side to the story.

All in all this is a good read and I plan to find the other novels by this author. It does feel a bit heavy on the religious discussion and explanations particularly if you are not familiar with it. However I can recommend that the story is worth reading.

Athabasca by Alistair MacLean

Oh I had a long break from reading specially the Alistair MacLeans. One can have too much of a good thing, I think. This is one book I seriously have no recollection reading and I wonder why? It is a good story and very much in line with the usual plot lines.

There is espionage in the oil fields of Alaska and Canada where messages are being sent with no demands but just warnings of disruptions to the plants. They promised to be minor disruptions but the first one included the death of 2 engineers. Jim Brady’s company is one that is top in the field of capping oil fires and for the first time he is approached to handle this kind of a problem where they have to review the security system to see where there can be a breach and so a likely place for saboteurs to disrupt the oil flow. He sends in his 2 best men to investigate and then joins them when the death of 2 engineers occurs.

 The pace moves fairly fast and it has everyone racing from Alaska to Canada and back. It is surprising that there are so many ways to disrupt the working of an oil field. Once the deaths are found to be murders and more people die things get serious and attempts are made to get the oil companies to get rid of Jim Brady and his men. Why the high up men in the 2 companies seem so reluctant to cooperate?  What do these saboteurs want? There is a consensus that the softening up process was indicating that the demand when it came would be huge. So what is it they want? Why are the company security men, who are the best on the world, unable to stop the sabotage? The messages are being sent in the company code, in both cases, so it is very much of an inside job linking both the sites as the messages were similarly worded. Why does the company doctor certify the deaths of the engineers as straightforward shooting and that of field operations manager as being sandbagged and left to die in the cold?

Jim has his wife and daughter with him as they feel that the ‘bad guys’ will not hesitate to kidnap them and use as a lever to stop the investigation. They are being guarded by the Canadian Mounties but on the day they are visiting the plant and then going for dinner with the CEO they just have the plant security with them when they get kidnapped. The security men were left dazed and unconscious. Where they really beaten? Who can they trust to help from within the companies? How to find where the kidnappers have taken Jim’s wife and daughter as well as Reynolds the CEO? Has Jim given into the demand of the kidnappers when they put in the flight plan to leave Canada?

There is a fair tension maintained in the plot and there is the usual dry humour working well with the story. As usual when I read something for the first time (as this read felt like that) I am in such a rush to know the whole story that I am sure I have missed finer points. This means I shall have a happy second read in a couple of months and savour the book again.