Overheard

It is always funny when you over hear snippets of conversations between people who are strangers to you. Some make you smile as you catch their drift while others leave you wondering what that was all about where as some just make you double up. I overhead some such strange conversations and decided that maybe someone else will find them funny if not at least amusing.

I was waiting at the outpatients department and this one is particularly a large one. The doctors were running late and the people waiting were beyond that initial restlessness. Some were flicking through the heap of old magazines that is always found at the waiting rooms of various health establishments doing its contractual work of passing on germs. There were a couple of young women sitting in the row behind me and this is what they were talking about…..

Lady in jeans – you mean sling backs?

Lady with short hair - It's the ones without backs that have the elastic band or strip of shoe with a buckle at the back of the foot holding them on

This was not very interesting and so I tuned out from that conversation and tuned into the other two ladies in front of me. Both were young and I wondered what was wrong since I was at a rheumatology clinic. One was wearing baggy trousers and a tank top while the other was in a skirt and a red jumper.

Skirt (giggling): ‘I am using a disability placard as leverage to continue working.’

Trousers (with a tongue in cheek manner):  ‘Well you can... I am just happy being a lazy cow..’

Skirt explaining: ‘No before when I was teaching. It was at top of this stupid hill. And there was never parking. I told the doctor to sign this form or I'll quit my job. I can't walk up that hill and be awake to teach the class. So she signed a permanent one.’  She laughed as she finished speaking.

Trousers laughingly agreed: ‘Yes that’s good. I used that to get myself a permanent desk.. as part timers were supposed to hot desk and I said I canna carry my laptop home every day and back…’

Skirt: ‘There ya go!’

Trousers: hahahaha…. See we have so many positives to use.. and we should make up a guide for it.’

Skirt: ‘Oh yeah. I have to come up with more though. Those are the only ones I got right now.’

Sadly I shall never find out the end of that conversation and more tips to make disability work for you as I got called to see the doctor.

Then on the way back home in the bus … another good place to overhear interesting conversations… there was this boy and girl sitting behind me. I could hear them and assumed they were friends and on their way to some party.

Boy: ‘You wouldn't happen to know how to get wax out of a tshirt?’

Girl: ‘Put it on the fire..?’ and giggled

Girl: ‘What kinda wax?’

Boy: ‘It was a Yankee candle wax tart for Warmers’

Girl: ‘should come out if you put it in the freezer then.’

Boy: ‘The warmer had been on for 2 hours and I realized it still looked solid. So I pulled it down to touch it and my fingers weren't holding it as tight as I thought and the bottom melted but top didn’t so it burst through the top down the front of my brand new shirt.’ He did sound cross.

Boy: ‘I had it under hot water to melt it off, then a toothbrush to make sure the wax was off but apparently there was also some oil. I am gonna try to buy a new one tomorrow.’

Girl: ‘Awww put it in the freezer.. and it should be ok.. my gran’s advice.. but just in case it does not work.. I take myself off the blame list.’

Boy: ‘Nice. We always blame whoever isn't here to defend themselves.’

Girl: ‘Oh for oil you have to use something like vanish..’

Boy: ‘I did colour safe bleach soaked it, toothbrushes that then washed it again. I've washed it 3 times. Dried only 1 time when I didn't see anything. But there is still a stain.’

Girl: ‘Well then you will just have to admit to people you have been a mucky pup.. when u wear it.’

Boy: ‘I tried ice the very first thing I did. But the wax had gone thru the shirt and later I found wax on my skin. So the ice help the part that didn’t go all the way through.’

Girl: ‘oh well google it.. answers to everything is supposed to be there na?’

Boy: ‘Yeah. I was just wondering. Needless to say I yelled at the object and it just sat there looking dumb.’ With a chuckle

Girl: ‘Now would it not have been more shocking if it had answered you back.. you are the clumsy one and yelling at me?’

Boy laughed: ‘Oh I would've gone to the ER and asked for Valium if that'd happened.’

Girl: ‘Only valium? I would want to be on anti-hallucinogenic too!’

Boy: ‘Well they would decide once I told them "I hear voices from objects". I am sure Valium would be the tip of the iceberg!’

Girl: ‘Yep the men in white coats would come marching in pretty rapidly put you in a strait jacket and cart you away on a trolley... you know the one which is used to move boxes.’

Both laughed and I had to stop myself from joining them.

Girl: ‘Oh yea the jacket has to match the shoes or else...

Boy: “Well white goes with everything.’

Girl: ‘Aha I see you are using blocks of colour.. white with red I presume?’

Boy: ‘After all fashion has to be upheld not matter what gaga land you are in.’

Girl: ‘hahaha oh white with black and nude shoes or green or grey?’

Boy: ‘No no I like red.. bit of a statement. Like I might be nutty but I know my fashion.. kinda statement.’

Hahahahahha both laughed.

Girl: ‘Heck yes. I may be nutty but I can walk in heels! Also a statement.’

Boy: ‘Now we are assuming that you would be wearing something more than a d jacket.. cos after all you arenot gonna go to ER in just your shoes...’

Girl: ‘True. I would even go to the ER in heels in all honesty. But red shoes require silver or light grey pants’

Boy: ‘Nah light would get dirty in ER.. go with your black and white theme.. go for black pants and a skimpy sequined black top…. then the white jacket would be perfect and so would the red shoes…..so now we have a uniform to go to ER in..’

Girl: ‘Oh nice. That would be nice. I just bought a cream and gold tank top to go with a dark pair of jeans and the black and nude shoes. It's perfect!!!

Boy: ‘After all we visit it often.. and so no need to go as slovenly whingers..’

Sadly I had to leave this amusing couple to get off at my stop but it did leave me wondering as to whether the young man managed to get the wax off his t-shirt or not?

A fee days ago I went to have a look at the department store in the local shopping mall and was browsing through the clothes hoping to pick up some nice tops in the sales. There were nice ones that I liked and so went to try them on and yes you have guessed it the conversations in the fitting rooms are equally entertaining. I got so carried away that I nearly forgot to try my tops.

Girl 1: it seems there r sales all year round and there is no actual discount in any store anyways

Girl 2: Ok weird question. Would you consider wearing jeans to church if you were leading the singing portion?

Girl 1: Of course why not? you are fully covered.. not as if you gonna go in revealing stuff. Just get a decent top and not t shirt to go with it.. should be fine

Girl 2: I was gonna wear the new tank top with a sweat over it, the jeans, and the black on nude shoes. They keep saying I dress up too much

Girl 1: That should do.. trial run at the church is a good idea.. hehehe

Girl 2 Lol. It just feels weird and just wrong. Always a good trial run….. Church is much more judgmental than anywhere else.

Girl 1: Well jeans r like any other trousers now a days...

Girl 2: I know. I kinda hate that though….

Girl 1: Why?

Girl 2: I never wear jeans often ever. I wore a pair of jeans in 2008…. that was the last time. I like my business pants, skirts, khakis, jeans. Not my fav and it seems wrong for church

Girl 1: Heheheheh I like jeans there was a time I lived in them.. but when I put on a lot of weight I did not buy any.. too embarrassing.. in fact getting clothes was bad. I have some Indian gear which I used to bring out in summer while in winter I used to buy those cotton or denim legging kind.. T shirts and large jumpers or fleece..

Girl 2: See I've got the chunky going on but I am also oddly shaped. No hips or butt, skinny legs, but a gut! So I tried on a pair and I could've used the hips to fly somewhere

Both burst out laughing.

Girl 1: I know what you mean I find that the other way round get something big enough for the hips and butt and you can fit another person at the waist

Girl 2: I tried on the skinny jeans and I had two extra folds in the butt and legs even though I have a fat tummy…

Again they giggled and I was like sitting on the small bench in there and trying not to laugh loudly.

Girl 1: heheheh so you must then look like a lollipop..

Girl 2: Yeah. I have a fat tummy and below the hips looks like it belongs to a different person! I kind do look like a lollipop!!

Girl 1: so there is someone out there with a small upper body and fat lower one.. ahahahahah

Girl 2: Oh yes. There is.

Girl 1: I donna discriminate in my body parts... fat is distributed equally

Girl 2: And I'd like the top half back!!! hahahahaa

Girl 1: Well u gotta to go hunting? Give an ad in the papers?

Girl 2: Lol something

Girl 1: How about a vid on youtube.. cos strange things go viral on it …..   instant celeb.. then one would have to stand in a queue to speak to ya

Girl 2:  I don't know if that's what I want to be a celeb for. A skinny bottom half!!

Girl 1: Well that’s the fastest way.. am sure there is someone out there who wants just like you to be reunited with half their fat self

Girl 2: Lol. True

Girl 1: ……might be hankering.. sitting in a burger joint and stuffing themselves in order to get the balance right

Girl 2: as I starve myself for balance

Girl 1: that’s it…. you can appeal to the sense of balance in people. You sing well so maybe a catchy tune and a jog like the Gangham style

Girl 2: With my luck the skinny top half would belong to a man!!!! LOL……No hips butt or boobs

Girl 1: hehe nothing to be sneezed at….. you can get a boob job..

Girl 2 starts laughing.

Girl 1: a 36 c... big but not too big.. give a nice cleavage….. go well in the new tank top... see there you are built you a nice body.. and got you kitted out for church..

Girl 2: Lol!!! Oh dang. I'm all set up now!

At this point I burst out laughing and there was sudden silence in the fitting rooms. I quickly picked my things and crept out before the girls came out and saw who was eavesdropping.