Change

I was doing well

Life was swell

Career was flourishing

A PhD I was wishing

Dreams of developing theory

Helping learning online to the weary

Presenting at conferences everywhere

Accolades from fellow researchers there

Then I got ill

Body would not do my will

Everything fell apart

Work, study and family torn apart

Cannot understand what is happening?

Why is it happening?

Make this pain go away

The feelings of despair away

Cannot do anything without pain

What’s the point or gain?

A long time to grieve, to let go

A real battering of ego

Loads of drugs to help and harm

Not always working the charm

Eventually it dawns

That this is the new dawn

Rethinking and reflecting on the needs

Channelling of energy into creative feeds  

Life is much slower

But surely it is smoother

Making time for feeding the soul

While keeping keeping the body whole

Now I battle the cold instead of heat

It’s the summer I would like to greet

A professional turned housewife

But some days can barely wield a knife

Gardening for the first time

Joy of growing vegetables first time

Mowing the lawn

Strangely does not raise a frown

Lazy time in sun reading

Why would I be complaining?

So many new friends I have made

Long list to wade

To help and support

Ideas from each other to import

Learning to adapt and change

Who says an old dog cannot change?

In my head the chant - faster faster

In my body the chant - slower slower

I took ages to learn

I cannot, the candle at both ends, burn

The learning of contentment

A once strange sentiment

Quality of life is what matters

Being alive is what matters

People who love you stand by

Others are just passers by

Being ill made me learn

Everything I do not have to earn

I have found again the fun in me

I did not even know I had lost me

I am so different

But am I really different?