Conundrum of Life

How preoccupied we are with the good and bad

That we forgot to live with what we had

Can we have some fun and live a full life

Or should we be busy in just avoiding strife

When is coffee in and when is alcohol out?

Is the dessert too sweet and we must do without?

Which tea should be a matter of taste

Rather than what latest ‘guru’ dictates

Have we lost our teeth so young

That praises of juices must be sung?

Which is a better juice, green or red?

Me! I rather be properly fed

In the latest news, fat is in and sugar is out

Blamed for obesity and soon to be taxed out

Eating fads come and go

According to which business is slow

People make money hand over fist

By picking our insecurities out of the mist

There is a pill for everything

And it is better for it packs more of everything!

Specialists come out of the woodwork

Telling me this, that and the other will work

Make you healthy, make you young

Make you pretty and less high strung

They tell you what to think and how to feel

Only you have to follow them is the deal

This herd mentality and mob behaviour

Being taught from childhood is not our saviour

We are divided by so much, caste, creed and religion

Not to mention the status, race and nation

Everyone is on social media hoping to get closer

But becoming more schadenfreude with every life’s loser

These is a loss of privacy at our own hands

When all our selfies and vids instantaneously hit the stands

The perspective of life has changed

Values and purposes have also changed

While progress is a must to evolve mankind

But when change is for sake of change, the word thoughtless comes to mind

Should technology rule our progress?

Will we evolve to higher beings through this progress?

Or are we losing the very qualities and skills that make us human?

And the eventual lack of these, making us subhuman

A worrying end if life is about survival of the fittest

Not many of us will pass the test

So let us reclaim out thoughts, values and individuality

Embrace our differences and love each other’s vitality

To live and let live should be our aim

So love laughter and joy all can claim

When did family news become gossip?

When I was young holidays were visits to family

You knew who were in your family

Meeting up around once a year was a joy

So much news of what happened in the year, oh boy!

All cousins and aunts and uncles were brought up to date

What had everyone got up to date

This was the way we kept in touch

Exchange news about those also, who had not met up much

The family stories got told

Old anecdotes retold

There was a connection felt through this narrative

These meetings between various members, weaving and strengthening the narrative

So when did this change from keeping in touch to gossip?

Why did it all become gossip?

Now while technology lets us be better connected

Our hearts and lives are even less connected

Social networking, skype, twitter, whatsapp are all flourishing

But real conversation is dwindling

Instead we have our status to update

Feelings and fleeting thoughts to state

Does any of it improve the weave of the narrative of life?

Does anyone read these self-indulgent glimpses of our life?

When we happen to manage a ‘chat’ with someone

We no longer exchange news about anyone

 The scope of conversation is limited to us alone

The passing on message to others as a short cut to keeping relationships alive

Is a thing of past, for now each one is individually connected and not part of the hive

The fabric of family and society has changed a lot

More connected we are now but also isolated a lot

Relationships have become more one to one

Rarely do we get together to have fun

As we move around the world it’s never been easier to keep in touch

Surely it is not hard as such

But humans still crave physical meetings

So those once near and dear become just passing greetings

When far away, friends become family

Also old friends go the way of the family

The change should bring people together

But many find themselves being left out altogether

What will happen to that familial cultural narrative?

Will anyone be able to place themselves within the fabric of that narrative?

Will be become just a single generation society?

Where we do not know wider family in that society.

How can we be kind and caring?

When there is limited contact and sharing.

So I ask myself again and again, when did keeping up with family news become gossip?

Why indeed it is all classed as gossip?

Making people reluctant to talk about what is happening with others in their life

Is the making of a lonely life

This loosening of the family fabric is sad, is it a wonder?

It loosens the links between members and the gaps eventually will render that fabric asunder

I know not what the solution is?

When will we wake up to this loss, in the busyness that life is?

Change

I was doing well

Life was swell

Career was flourishing

A PhD I was wishing

Dreams of developing theory

Helping learning online to the weary

Presenting at conferences everywhere

Accolades from fellow researchers there

Then I got ill

Body would not do my will

Everything fell apart

Work, study and family torn apart

Cannot understand what is happening?

Why is it happening?

Make this pain go away

The feelings of despair away

Cannot do anything without pain

What’s the point or gain?

A long time to grieve, to let go

A real battering of ego

Loads of drugs to help and harm

Not always working the charm

Eventually it dawns

That this is the new dawn

Rethinking and reflecting on the needs

Channelling of energy into creative feeds  

Life is much slower

But surely it is smoother

Making time for feeding the soul

While keeping keeping the body whole

Now I battle the cold instead of heat

It’s the summer I would like to greet

A professional turned housewife

But some days can barely wield a knife

Gardening for the first time

Joy of growing vegetables first time

Mowing the lawn

Strangely does not raise a frown

Lazy time in sun reading

Why would I be complaining?

So many new friends I have made

Long list to wade

To help and support

Ideas from each other to import

Learning to adapt and change

Who says an old dog cannot change?

In my head the chant - faster faster

In my body the chant - slower slower

I took ages to learn

I cannot, the candle at both ends, burn

The learning of contentment

A once strange sentiment

Quality of life is what matters

Being alive is what matters

People who love you stand by

Others are just passers by

Being ill made me learn

Everything I do not have to earn

I have found again the fun in me

I did not even know I had lost me

I am so different

But am I really different?

Moving States

Well moving countries was hard and so did not expect to have problems moving states. It is surprising how much you get into the system within 6 months! We had been living out of suitcases for all this time. It’s so easy to just wear the same clothes and live in a confined manner within very little means both material and monetary. Well we had sublet our home at a lovely large 3 bedroom house. Our room was big and comfortable. We had the run of the house with use of the kitchen and all its utensils plus food. I had tried hard not to get too comfortable in the situation and the locality as we were not sure where we would end up living.

Sure enough the job was in Sydney and so the move had to be done fast. As soon as he got the job we started making plans to leave at the weekend. The unplugging from this 6 months of life meant returning the library card and books; changing address with bank, telling the doctors and optician; ringing the Centrelink; organising for the luggage to be sent on once we had a address to send it to and other such tiny details. Then had a look at what I wanted to take with me! I had come with only 2 bags but somehow this had expanded to a shopping trolley, some additional clothes and linen, food items, a couple of bags of medicines and so on…. There was no way we could fly to Sydney with all this baggage. So we hired a car and decided to drive over the weekend and keep the car for a week.
Saturday morning came and we filed up the car and left just before 10 am. Being early the rush had not started on the Hume Highway. After an hour we stopped at the service station for comfort break and a drink. I took over the driving at this point and enjoyed doing it after a long time. Thought we could have a break for lunch at Banalla but ended up going past and finding a small service station which only had a MacDonald’s….. Very unsatisfactory lunch was had and we moved on. Reached Albury at about 3 ish in the afternoon and found the place we were staying at. There was a restaurant attached to the place and so had dinner there itself rather than wander about in the dark. We thought the place would be open in the morning for breakfast as there was room service… sadly this was wrong and so we had no breakfast just got a couple of cups of tea.

Next morning filled up on petrol and off we went again. The drive on the second day was good too. There was not much traffic and the countryside kept changing. There were hills or wide spaces, empty land or gun trees. The sun shone and skies were big and blue. Today also I drove for a couple of hours and did not feel any stress. Today we went off the highway to have lunch at Gundagai. There was a fairly large service station with various food places and even a shop selling fruit and veggies plus jams and pickles and souvenirs. Took pictures of the pickle jars which were labelled Bum Hummers! This is a brand of pickled onions. I had a good laugh and made Paul take a snap to put up for the girls to see.

Then we drove on to Goulburn where we stayed overnight. It started raining as soon as we turned into Goulburn. The room had free WiFi and so we caught up on the mails and family in the evening. It poured all evening and so it was nice not to go far for dinner. On Monday morning we were guaranteed breakfast as the room was bed and breakfast. I actually could have the toast and so it was not too bad. We left at 9 30 am and were on the last leg to Sydney. Got off the Hume Highway at Preston and drove towards Paramatta. My nephew stays just before we get to Paramatta and we got there right on the dot of lunch.

Thus, started the proper settling down period for us. Since we had the car for a bit longer we managed to find our way around the area. Looked up the way to Paul’s work, shopping centres, car showrooms, Havery Normans etc. Had to spend a fair amount of time specially on Saturday to look at all these houses for rent. Seems that apartments and flats are most popular, being newer and compact, with low maintenance since there is no garden. Most of them are on the first or second floor and we really did not want to live in a flat again. We did manage to see a couple of houses and these were spacious enough to take our entire luggage (when it came). However there was another house which was not for viewing and we managed to see it on Monday. Nice 3 bedroom house with a garden and plenty of light. We fell in love with it and asked that our application be put forward for this house. Then we went to Harvey Norman to look over the fridge freezers and washing machines. While on the way there we got a call that the landlord had agreed to our application and we could pay a deposit by the evening and sing contract on Friday. Thus we found our home in Toongabbie. Shall not bore you with the details of getting furniture and white goods along with our luggage into the house. Slowly the home is taking shape… will put up some pics once it gets done. We have finally arrived in Australia as I do the census tonight!

Where is HOME?

I think I am beginning to feel at home. It is strange to think I am not going back home… then I think where is home? Used to call India ‘back home’ for the past 25 years and now suddenly UK has been upgraded to that title. Have to think what I should call India now! Not many people are lucky enough to call 3 continents home. So far 23 years of my life were in India and 25 in UK. So will the last third of my life be in Australia? I certainly think so. Also home for me is where the heart is and where Paul and I are together.

Many of my friends and family have asked will I not miss UK, my life with friends and of course my family there. I have to remind them this is not the first time I am moving continents. The last time I moved it was just with a bag of clothes. I left behind all my friends and family then. As all of us were too lazy to write and it was expensive to send post it was a very big wrench for me. I missed the sights, sounds, smells and people for a very long time. This time the move was not going to be such a wrench. I have brought along my heart (Paul) and will have all my belongings following me. Technology being so good I can keep in touch with all my family and friends via facebook and skype. I made my niece and mother in law in particular install and try out skype so that we could see each other. I am still hounding some of my relatives to get their webcams, mics and skype going. However, most send me emails as well. The ones in India were already communicating via facebook and so you see this time the continent move is much easier. I am not leaving behind anyone. The blogs allow all to chart my progress of settling in Australia. With links into the various websites all the readers can also learn a bit about the places I mention. It is fun to describe the new experiences and hope that readers enjoy it too.

This week has been a little slow and gentle. I am adapting to the slower pace of life. On Monday I actually swept the whole house, well save a couple of corners which Paul attacked with a hoover. It has been a very long time since I did such kind of house work. I thoroughly enjoyed it as it a relative novelty! Am sure sweeping such a large house is not going to be fun in the long run. I have also been helping Paul with the cooking now. He still has to chop everything but then I can do the rest. On Tuesday we went to Collins Street as I had a meeting with an agency. The job looked good when discussing with the lady. I agreed for an interview the next day as well. While it was a high post I knew I could do it. However when I looked at the job description in detail it was much too heaaavvvy on management and am not sure it was what I want to do. I mean I came here to have a better lifestyle, less stress so that work life balance will allow me to have improved health. SO sadly I had to decline and bow out of the interview. For lunch we found a restaurant called ‘desi dhabha’. I had rajamah chawal and Paul had roti and saag (apparently they had no maaki roti). We also managed to get allu parathas and onion parathas as take away for dinner with raita.

Also had a call from Monash regarding a part time job that I had applied for. Interview was on Thursday. Will be good if I get it as it’s basically a research supervisor’s job. The day out to Monash University was good. We caught an early bus to The Pines shopping center, from there 901 bus to Blackburn Station. Walked across the underpass to catch the 703 bus which took us right to the Monash University. The campus is big and very green. The Faculty of Medicine, Nursing and Health Sciences building was shut as the torrential rains had put the electricity out. The offices had been temporarily moved to another building which turned out to be for IT and geology. Well you can guess that the waiting for me was not such a chore for Paul as he was busy looking at rocks and stuff on display.

On the way back we stopped for lunch at an Indian called Gopal which is opposite the Blackburn Station. Oppss looking up the web I think it might have been Ganesh ….. LOL but the food was quite nice. Paul had thali which I could not as the veg korma was made with cauliflower, capsicum and mushrooms. The other items were dal makhani, raita, onion bhaji, rice, papad, and naan. Apparently this was the first day they were trying out a thali. I ended up with shahi paneer and onion kulcha. Both had a taste of James Boag beer. All in all a pleasant afternoon meal. Then bus back to The Pines so that we could buy some milk, fruit and veg. The heat was getting worse and worse as the mugginess also increased. The weather man had said late evening thunderstorms and so we were waiting for the cooling to come. It was so warm that the moong dal with spinach and rice were eaten very late.. at about 8 30 pm! All those who know me will raise an eyebrow as most days am watching tv in bed by 8 pm. Hehehehe

At about 9 30 pm the lightening started flashing and thunder rolling. The rain came but not as heavily as I thought I would and so it did not cool down as rapidly as it had done the other week. However, it rained on and off throughout the night. So morning saw temperature of about 21C and not much different from maximum of 24C today. Paul has gone to Collins Street for some meetings and I decided to stay at home and relax. Most of these meetings are late morning or early afternoon. This means going out during the hot part of the day and to have a meal out. So far most days we have found Indian food and so not been too hard on my stomach and allergies. But a day in alone will be a good rest and give me time to do some writing.

If you are enjoying my blogs and my style of writing or have suggestions for me about my writing or the things about Australian life please feel free to add your comments to each blog.

Hope

The heat is on this summer

Warming my muscles and bones

Making the pain dim and fade

All possible to the move made

The movement is easier

Something I had hoped for

This makes life so much better

Much more to live for

The highs of 40 degrees in the past

Would have made me run away fast

Now the heat brings relief and ease

Making me sigh with peace

The pain makes me feel low

Dark winter cold compounds it

The sunshine here gives the blues a blow

Already lightening the mood a bit

Thus the cycle of pain and depression

Feels like finally broken

Fills me with hope and elation

Hope not to be shaken