Scattered Beads

The day the basket of beads scattered

Nothing was the same and nothing mattered

The beads rolled everywhere

The colours of the rainbow everywhere

The dreams of achievements shattered

My confidence left tattered

It is hard to gather all the beads

Rolling away, elusive are these beads

Gathering myself to make me whole

Is difficult, when like beads parts of myself roll

Just out of reach, they seem

Like those fractured scenes of a dream

When I get to one another bead escapes me

When I find humour, courage escapes me

Will I ever be able to gather these beads of me?

And make a basket that is whole me!

I wanna be a dolphin

The cartoon where the alligator complaints that he wants to be a dolphin set me thinking :

Though scientists say dolphins are not all pretty and friendly

They can be vicious and hunt in packs with other fish not so friendly

But when I think of them every time

I get a smile on my face every time

The best images are of pods in waves

Leaping and flipping tails in the waves

There is something fun and carefree

Makes my soul rise up, all free

I want to dance in the waves with them

I want to race in the water with them

Feel the water rushing and caressing

The skin tingles with the water caressing

The dolphin song strums the heartstrings

Making me vibrate to the strum of the strings

There is music humming in my heart

Joy leaping in the every part

I could sit on the rocks and watch the dolphins for ever

They would give me joy and peace for ever

Oh what a wonderful way to pass the time of the day

The waves, the birds, the dolphins and maybe a kangaroo or two would make a lovely day!

I Want

When am good

Am very very good

When am bad

I wanna be very very bad

I want to be loved

Oh I want so much to be loved

Is it too much to ask

Why should I wear a mask?

Pretend that all is well

When nothing is well

I want to break free of this pretence

The bad times in past tense

I refuse to be good any more

Do what is expected of me any more

I want to dance in the rain

I want to sing despite the pain

I want to punch some on in the face

Yell for them to get outta my face

I want to eat chocolate when I wish

Any food whenever I wish

How many frogs must I kiss

To find the one I would miss

I want to be bad

I want to be mad

I want to be happy

In an otherwise life so crappy……

One day I shall have a garden

I have been to the west country for a few days. I like going there as it seems a different country... the pace of life is certainly slower than the South East of UK. It would be nice to live there I think. The sun was shining most of the time and the countryside was green and had so many butterflies and bushes with blackberries ripening. In fact this year there is a huge bush in our garden and there is so much fruit that it allows for fresh picking every day. The neighbour has grown cucumber, broad beans and tomatoes of which I was able to get some to bring back home.

This year I have also managed to get fresh mangoes a few times. Generally they are affordable during the season and they are from the Indian subcontinent. Very sweet and makes you never want to eat the tinned stuff ever again. Reminds me that when I was younger and living in India we always had seasonal fruit and it always meant so much and tasted much better since it was available only for short period in the year. As a kid I remember sitting in my slip with mango and getting it all over myself. The taste made me shiver with pleasure. Grapes are another favourite. I always remember big bunches of seedless grapes in the fridge and my eagerness to help my mother in the kitchen... as getting things from the fridge for her allowed me to sneak a grape or two! Guavas specially those from Pune were real big and sweet... yummmmyyy I always bought some when I went out at weekends from hostel. Nibbling at one to make it last. My mother likes guavas was well and I took some home for her during my vacation.
I wish we had a small garden at least. Am sure we could grow a few things... potatoes would be the first one and also some chillies. Tomatoes I know are fairly easy and any other veg would do. Maybe some herbs as well like basil, thyme, coriander. Another thing I would like would be lavender. I have in past got some and dried it, making a sort of potpourri and hung it the hall. It felt so nice as the scent wafted every time you passed by. mmmmmmmmm Am dreaming again.. one day maybe I shall have a little garden.......